i want something that i want

I really need to do the post about Dunkerque but honestly, all it would say is, "We went to the beach. It was ridiculously windy, and we spent six hours in a beach-side cafe drinking cocktails."

Yesterday was my last day at work and for the most part, I let kids ask questions. I mean, we did do some work but hey, who cares about work? Besides, questions are way more fun and let me practice my French.

Kid: How are you getting home?
Other Kid: a plane, duh!

Kid: Does America have the same money as us?

Kid: How long does it take to get from Southern California to Washington D.C?
That one I could actually answer seeing as I've driven it at least 6 times in my life. It takes 5 days if you stop at night, 3 days if you never stop.

Kid: How did you learn French?
Me: In school.
Kid: Oh! Like we learn English!

Kid: Where did you live this year?
Other kid: In America?
Teacher: No, of course not. That would be tiring to fly back every day.
Me: And expensive...

Kid: Do you have The Simpsons in America?
Me: ... Yeah, they're American.

Ah. And so my year in France comes to an end, too early for what I would have liked. Today I get to pack my suitcase and prepare for Monday when I leave for Germany. Germany! I'm so excited to finally get there. We're going to Munich so a trip to Dachau concentration camp will be had. I'm excited for that too. WWII is my favorite war to study (I'm a bit of a history nerd in case you hadn't gathered that over the course of this year). After Munich, we're heading to Salzburg (home to the Sound of Music tour and movie location and everything), then Vienna with hopefully sidetrips to Bratislava (in Slovakia) and Budapest (in Hungary). I'm going with two friends and this is where we'll part ways. They go back to France and I'm taking a little trip down to the former Yugoslavia. I'm definitely hitting up Croatia and Slovenia. Hopefully I'll be able to get to the Dalmatian coast in Croatia.

So there we have it. In less than a month I'll be back at home. In fact, I get in late on a Saturday, and you know what? The next day, Sunday, I'll be able to go to the store! And eat at restaurants! And shop! And do everything. All on a Sunday. AHHH. It will be glorious.

tu vas où?

Yesterday, I told a few classes that next week would be my last week. One class in particular had a lot of questions.

"Where are you going?"
"Are you going to another school?"
"Are you going back to London?"
"You live in America?"
"Isn't that far away?"

It's like they've forgotten everything I told them about where I'm from, and apparently all their geography lessons too.

Eet's clow-dee and cowld.

Biggest pet peeve for French people-learning-english: Putting Hs where they don't belong and taking them away when they're supposed to be there. No wonder the kids can't tell the difference between "ear" and "hair."

I was made fun of, or laughed at anyway, for reading Harry Potter by someone at work. I resent that. Harry Potter is a great book, and I was at least reading it in French, so that should somehow count in my favor?

Les soldes ont commencé. I bought a sweater at 50% off and I have plans to search for a bag once the prices dip even lower. I'm thinking when I go to Lille in a few weeks. I don't remember if I wrote this already, but I'm going to Cologne, Germany in a few weeks, just for the weekend. I have yet to convince anyone to come with me, but c'est pas grave - that's how my life goes. Tant pis.

On a parting note, today, a French person asked my why I bothered learning French. And people say the French are rude and highstrung. Obviously they've never been here.

Appreciation

I've never felt so lost. I've never felt so much at home. Please write my folks and throw away my keys.

I've been waiting years for that song lyric to apply to me. I can't say it does yet, and I honestly don't know when it will, but I hope that someday, I'll be able to say it and mean it.

Lately, I've seen a lot of people in the program getting tired (okay, it's mainly the Brits) and I know one person (American) is leaving. He says he's gotten what he wanted out of the program. I suppose if you feel that way. There's a difference between feeling you've done what you came to do and leaving early as opposed to quitting in the middle because it's just too hard.

I never once considered quitting in China, even on those days when I just wanted to punch the next Chinese person I saw, those days where if I heard 'hallow!' yelled at me, I was going to snap, not even on those days. It never occurred to me to just say, "I quit. Send me home." Then again, I had also signed a real contract that said if I quit, I had to pay money to get out of the contract. France somehow has no real contract. I don't feel like there's anything legal keeping us here. If we picked up and left tomorrow, there isn't anything they could do.

But I still don't understand the people who quit.

Have they not gone through what the rest of us did to get here? Do they not want it as much? What were they expecting? To live in a huge city with great public transportation and super friendly French people? It's just not realistic.

I was looking at jobs in the US today because I will have to get one when I get back, but if you think about it, my qualifications for any type of professional job are very slim. I speak French. Woo. That's all. I'm qualified to live in France. On a good day. It's enough to make a girl want to think of Grad School just to have something else to do. I'm not sure I could make it another 2-3 years in school, though.

I guess this entry doesn't have a point really except people who don't want to come here, shouldn't be here. Granted, I don't love teaching and no, I don't want to be a teacher, but that's not why I'm here. I knew that long before I came here. I'm here in some vague hope that France is the culmination of something in my life, as if it was something I was working towards all those years, but essentially it may only be a stepping stone to something else. God only knows what that something else is, although I'd rather like to be let in on it, thanks.

It's 10PM now over here in France and I have to leave for work at 8AM, so I'll leave this here.

To leave you all on a lighter-hearted note, the lol-worthy moment of Tuesdays classes:

New lesson on prepositions (in, on, under, behind, in front of, next to, between). The teacher uses the kids as examples: "Sara is next to John." And Sara moves next to John. Etc. So then the teacher says, "Thomas is inside Nathan. Is it possible?" If you didn't laugh, then you have a cleaner mind than me ;] The teacher said no. My brain said yes.

Goodnight.

si on veut connaître les papillons

When I worked at a preschool the summer after my freshman year in college, there was this kid who, although he was already five years old, didn't have the best grasp of the English language. He used to say things like, "I go ride bikes now." - now, that sounds like a statement, yes? Wrong. It would be a question, so when you answered, "Yes," as in, "Yes, soon you will," it was really a "Yes, you can," or at least that's how he took it because it was a question to him.

The above story demonstrates perfectly how I feel every time some little kid talks to me in French. There's a terrifying moment where you say oui and hope it wasn't somehow a question that you weren't supposed to agree to. Of course, these kids mumble and half the time they're just telling you things for the hell of it, so the logical answer is oui and it always seems to appease them. But I just know that someday I'm not going to hear the entire sentence, say yes, and the kid will run off and do something they shouldn't. Maybe I should try to pay more attention or tell them to parler plus fort.

I also for the life of me can't figure out the deal with some of the teachers at my school. Some of them are subs, I get that, but some of them are there every day for the same teachers. I didn't even meet one teacher for three weeks before I started teaching with her, and she's been gone the past two weeks again. And one teacher never comes on Thursdays? I just don't understand what they're doing. Oh, sure I could ask, but imagine trying to formulate that question... "Pourquoi Mme ____ ne vient jamais à l'école? Elle travaille deux jours par semaine? Je ne comprends pas. Pourquoi son nom est à la porte quand elle n'est jamais là?" Yeah, that would not be awkward or intrusive at all.

Whatever. Some things are best left unknown.

Tomorrow I'm headed off to Bruges for the Ice Sculpture festival. Yay Belgium again! Maybe I'll get another gouffre (waffle ;]). I've been dreaming about them since Brussels the first time.

haters to the left

There is a girl in one of my classes named Chlésia and all I can think of when her name is said is Chlamydia.

Today in one of my classes, I decided to do the traditional, "let's make turkeys out of your hands!" that every American kid had to suffer through every year from age five to ten. Well, my kids liked it anyway, but they love anything that has to do with coloriage. Afterwards, I told them that the drawings were for them to keep and take home. And lo and behold, about seven gave me their drawings for me to keep and take home! lol. 

On Thursday, I have my inspection, or... observation. I don't know. Willy is going to come by and watch me and that's not nerve-wracking at all! Not a bit.

I woke up this morning to a fine layer of snow blanketing my windowsill and the sidewalks and roads outside. And for once, I had a nice, interesting conversation with a French person that consisted of more than just, "Oui," and "Okay." Kévin (a sort of teaching assistant - he helps the "challenged" kids) drove me to the train station after work (it's another town over) and it was nice to talk to someone who wasn't twice my age. For once, I was bringing up subjects and actually answering questions. I know my French isn't horrible but a lot of times it just feels inadequate. But hey, everyone understands me and I've gotten really lucky with my school in that all the teachers are nice and accommodating and they seem genuinely happy to have an English assistant (it's the school's first year). But I've actually heard that all of the people in my département are happy with their schools (by département, I mean the nine of us teaching primary school in the Pas-de-Calais region), and I think it has a lot to do with Willy, who really does care, hence why he's coming out to do inspections and give us some tips. 

I'm really glad for my situation, and after looking on the forums (god, people complain a lot), I think maybe they don't appreciate it as much as I do. There are plenty of people that didn't get to come who would gladly take one of those complainers places. As for me, I'm happy just where I am.

I left out the part where the Americans killed all the indians.

Joyeuse Action de Grace! Or rather, Happy Thanksgiving.

I woke up this morning at 7AM as usual for a Thursday, went to work, explained cranberries to children of varying ages ("It's like a cherry but smaller and not sweet") - the teacher went on to explain that they have cranberry juice in France, and around noon (while revising "I like playing football") it started snowing.

The first snow of the season on Thanksgiving day. How awesome. Me, I love snow although snow in France is a definite step-up from snow in China. At the very least, we have heat here. It didn't last long and the ground was too wet for it to stick, but there's more in the forecast later this week.

At lunch, I ate something I didn't bother to ask what it was. As long as you don't tell me, I'm much more likely to try it. Turns out I ate veal the other day (first time, very glad I didn't know at the time). I also ate mussels for the first time (although those were pretty obvious what they were) - they're a very traditional northern dish. Mussles and fries.

Afterwards, I miraculously forgot the word for "food" after using it numerous times that week and even that day. It was just a blank moment. The teacher mentioned Obama pardoning the Turkeys, who of course will be sent to Disneyland.

The Happiest Turkeys on Earth

My big plans for Thanksgiving involve nothing more interesting than watching TV. Compared to last year, when us 12 Americans got together for chicken, sweet potatoes, and various desserts (both appetizing and not, lol). 

On a more random note, whenever I put quotations around my words as I speak in French, I'm reminded of high school French class where we decided that we should do the French quotations << oui ! >> with our arms in that shape. Six years later, it's still in my head. Happy Thanksgiving!

A Foreigner's Survival Guide to France

In order to survive in France, there are some simple words and phrases one must know. They may seem simple to you, but really, they are the essentials!

The List:

Oui
Ca va (say twice for emphasis)
Okay
D'accord
Ca y est? (this basically means, it was okay?)
Ca y était? (same as above)
Je fais rien
Et beeennnnn oui
Beeeennnn oui, je crois

(you can combine any number of these whenever you feel like your answer needs more padding)

The most confusing on that list are definitely, "Ca y est?" and "Ca y était?" Why? Because you never know what they're referring to. Are they talking about this morning? This afternoon? The forty-five minutes you spent trying to make kids remember that green and grey are not the same color? Or that you do pronounce the H in hello, horse, he, here? I just want to say, "I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN." So, instead, I just nod and say, "Oui."

That's the extent of my vocabulary in France. However, my word of the month is "une punition" (yes, it is what it sounds like, a punishment). French teachers are quite fond of giving these out to students who do anything wrong. I don't give them out, but threatening to send them to the Maitresse for one gets them to shut up for at least a few seconds.

Students are particularly wild on Thursdays for some reason. I haven't fathomed why yet. I was supposed to read them Brown Bear and every single time a page was turned, they went into a frenzy. Seriously? It's Brown Bear. He's a bear, who's brown. Not real exciting. But I suppose when you're eight years old, a purple cat can really excite the senses. Ah, to be young again.

even on dimanche, on fait de la greve

What did I do with my Sunday, you ask? Well, I spent the majority of it messing around on photoshop creating a comic for a friend. It's mostly about Harry Potter. Don't judge me.  I can't draw for my life (*chorus of Hermione Can't Draw plays in the background*) but I can use the computer, so it's simple but you can tell who is who.

Obviously we can see how well I'm integrating into French society! But do not judge my social habits based on this one day spent frowning at a drawing's eyebrows and wondering how I can make them look happy and devious and excited all at the same time.

Yesterday, I saw The Social Network... in French. I liked it, yes, but I really want to see it in English now. It's a talky, smart movie, which doesn't work so well when you can only get about half of the dialogue. Normally, I don't like Jesse Eisenberg (or the many others that are so similar to him: Michael Cera, and that other guy). They all play the same characters and I don't see how it's possible to like one better than another). But he seemed to do a good job here. At least he was playing a somewhat different character than normal. Even without the English dialogue, I felt really bad for his best friend. If you haven't seen it, I would recommend it.

As for the Toussaint holiday, I had plans but now they are fuzzy, and I'm still not sure what's going on. My friend is being flaky, which I hate. I suppose I will know soon enough. I should really go start a lesson plan or two.