signs point to yes

My Magic 8 Ball sits on my shelf, the desolate shelf that I cleared last summer in preparation that I would actually do something when I got back from France. It sits there along with one framed picture of my childhood. The little blue die inside is slightly battered, white where it's hit the circular window over the years, always popping up to answer my question.

When I was younger, I'd ask, "Does so-and-so like me?" I can't say my questions have gotten much better over the years. This morning, I asked, "Will today be a good day?" Yesterday, I asked, "Will there be a lot of baths today?" The day before, I asked, "Will my schedule be changed again today?"

As a Freshman in high school, we had daily announcements by the principal and every day, he'd end with, "You can make it a great day or not... the choice is yours." The choice was mine. I never made that choice.

Nowadays, my Magic 8 Ball makes the choice for me. It tells me yes or no, a good day or not. If it tells me it can't make a decision, I shake it again. The poor, battered die. For years it has answered my questions, and for years, it has been right. Or perhaps it hasn't been. Perhaps it tells me, I believe it, and because I believe it, it's right.

Magic 8 Ball, you will always be right.

every night is like a revival.

Just the other day, I was lamenting yet again) about my current state of life, but I read blog today about twentysomethings and why we all feel so old. We feel old because we have expectations of where we should be at certain points in our lives, specifically in our twenties, and if we're not there, we feel a failure somehow, we feel old.

When I was younger and had a clear view of my life (I was going to be a veterinarian and own about 50 dogs), twenty-four seemed so very far away. I didn't know anyone who was twenty-four. Now I'm twenty-four and the oldest of all my immediate friends which is strange because as a child, I always got along much better with people older than me. There are times when the age differences are glaring to me, even if it's just a few years, and that makes me feel older than ever.

However, I had a brief shining moment of clarity today. It didn't last long, but I thought I'd share it while I still feel this way. It comes and goes, you see.

I am twenty-four, but in my twenty-four years, I've done things that a lot of people would never dream of: I moved to China with no knowledge of the language or what I was really getting into, I moved to France, I traveled to 13 countries, many by myself, I published a novel and wrote four more. I wrote four screenplays, and as bad as most of them are, who do you know who has?

As a kid, I was generally the odd one out. I had a few close friends but very little beyond that aside from acquaintances since it was a small town and I knew everyone in my grade since kindergarten. I loved animals and spent hours reading books and memorizing facts and generally being a huge nerd. Luckily for me, that wasn't unexpected in my town. The whole place was a little odd, and admittedly, I'm very glad we moved away.

The point is, I've never been normal. I've never had normal jobs or done normal things. The closest I came to normal was in college working at a restaurant, but I was promoted to student manager so it wasn't exactly normal again. Now I work at a dog kennel which I also did for two years in high school. My life isn't normal. Most people never think of doing that job because it's not fast food or retail, and sure, it's not going to get me much anywhere but it's more interesting than saying, "I cook hamburgers for a living."

I've always been okay being not normal which I guess means I have to accept that at twenty-four, whatever life goal I'm supposed to be hitting won't be happening. The youth really is wasted on the young.

I've been initiated

Got my first (well, second ever but whatever) dog bite yesterday. Currently hurts like hell if anything touches it and there's a lovely swelling bruise around where the lower incisor was. What sucks most is that it's on my forearm, so... quite visible and unfortunately a place that touches things a lot like the computer, my body, anything I lay it on. Hopefully it will go down by the time I have to work again. Boo.

on bathing dogs

What's the highest amount of dogs you've ever given a bath in one day? If you said zero or one, you're probably like most normal people out there. My number is twelve. Top that.

I don't mind bathing them, unless they try to bite me. Then it's not so enjoyable. My least favorite part is drying because it takes a long time, and if you don't know me, I'm not the most patient person and if things take too long, I speed them up or take shortcuts. Can't take shortcuts drying a dog. It's either dry or it's not and you have to keep going until it is.

The worst dog to bathe, you ask? Shepherds. They have a ton of hair and no matter how much you brush, there's still more to come off. I swear their owners never think of actually buying a brush and doing it themselves. There are these things called pet shops, and, gasp, they sell pet supplies such as brushes and nail clippers and shampoo. Yes, things other than food and toys. Hard to believe, I know.

I wonder how many I'll have to bathe tomorrow. Shall we try to break my new personal record? I'd rather not.

fill it with unleaded

When I was younger, I didn't think it was abnormal in any way to pull into a gas station and have an attendant come out and do the gas for you. I grew up thinking it was like that everywhere, and it wasn't until I was 12 and I went to D.C. that I realized it wasn't as normal as I thought.

In Oregon, you are not allowed to pump your own gas. When I moved to Arizona, I thought it was so strange having to do it yourself, and by the time I got my driver's license, I was sort of scared at the idea of doing it since I'd had so little experience.

Ten years later, I'm back living in Oregon and I find having someone pump my gas to be annoying and a pain sometimes. Unfortunately, it's one of those things you can't avoid. Oregon, I love you, but please, let me pump my own gas.

don't judge me

I just went through and re-formatted all my gifs to under 500kb so I can use them all on tumblr.

This is my life.

harry potter and the deathly hallows, part two (no spoilers here)

So I went to the midnight showing last night.

I don't know how to feel. I almost feel as if I haven't absorbed a single thing from the movie. Like, I know I saw it. I watched it, going from "OMG SO EXCITE" to, "ugh, they changed crap again." But it doesn't feel as if. I mean, I don't even know. I feel so lost.

Harry Potter is over.

It's so... sad. It's been the past twelve years of my life. I've grown up with Daniel, Rupert, and Emma, and I just. I can't believe it. I haven't absorbed it. Well.

Here's a video that says it better than I can.